What is that from? You know, I'm theenking, I'm theenking, I'm theenking... I can't remember.
So this morning as I was getting ready for work I did start to think about a couple of things...
How much are we absorbing now? I mean REALLY absorbing... Sometimes I feel like I don't absorb anything anymore... maybe it's an illness or something, but for the life of me, I feel like new things come in one ear and out the other.
Why do we do what we do? Why do I get up at 5am to be to work at 6am (usually late) to be away from doing things I love 40 hours a week? Why do I then do another 5-10 hours a week at another job? A job that is stressful and challenging and often feels like you are getting nowhere. Why am I always feeling that I'm doing all that I can and it's not usually enough... ??? Things that make you go hmmm....
Do you ever grow out of feeling like you are in high school? This is a tricky one and has been bothering me a lot lately... I feel like no matter what I am followed by the clicky girls, the drama, the unfriendliness, the competitiveness, and usually feeling like I'm not included. It's probably a paranoia of some sort, but it's really annoying. Do people grow out of their clicks? If you aren't right in someones face all the time do they just "forget" about you and leave you out?
This has always been a pet peeve of mine. Growing up, I was a competitive ice skater and that was the excuse to not include me on things... "Oh, we thought you were skating." Oh. Ok. Whatever. I feel like this is a continual problem that I face. Even at work, people forget to include me on things that I'm supposed to be involved in (meetings) and group lunches. Will I ever get over this? I hope so.
Where do you meet GOOD friends? I am hoping this will come along with kids. I have a ton of acquaintances and a ton of people I know. However, with that being said I do not have a best friend. I do not have a ton of people that I even consider FRIENDS. I think I have about five max. People that I could call up with a problem and chat it out with. I am not good on the phone. I'd much rather email or have coffee with someone so I think part of this is my fault, but it takes two people to be friends. It takes two to make a friendship work. I've found that even when I do well with phone calls, emails, etc... the other end fails me. This has happened more often than not.
Because of this, it's hard for me to let people in. I don't want to be shit on anymore! I put up a guard. I am just fine with what I have now... I would enjoy having a handful of people who just dropped by now and then... or we did dinner with or cookouts or football games or something... I do like to go out, I just don't have anyone to do it with. And poor Mr. K... he doesn't understand. He's got GREAT Friends and is a lot more extroverted than me! We compliment each other.
How to get in shape? Hmmm... this is a hard one for me. I hate working out. I hate sweating... lol. I know, wierd. I honestly think that I worked out all my life and now I'm ready for a break. I do like running... I am going to try to run at least 3x a week for the next couple of weeks and see where it gets me. This weekend I ran with Lex and it felt so good. He was such a good dog the entire time AND the weather was beautiful AND it felt great! Now... to make it a habit.
Ok... enough random ramblings from me. Sorry it's such an odd post. I'm in an odd mood. I'll get over it. If only I could quit my day job, be a stay at home housewife, blog, DIY, teach skating, and do Stella & Dot. Goal? Maybe... we'll see. It'll probably be a while.
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